Day 6, Letter 3 (Missed 3,4,5)

Dear Guy at that Party in the Hat,

There was a girl with you, beautiful, Filipina, brown curls, wide smile, but you didn't seem to care. Why? She was dancing for you with laughter and kisses, but it wasn't enough. I have been that girl. That's the girl I know how to be. What is it in all of us that makes us want the one thing we don't have? I don't know who you are, or why I should think you have such an answer, but for some reason I wanted you tell me. Wanted to hear your voice in my ear. I bet you had an accent.

The Girl at the Party in the Blue Polk-a-dot Dress

Day 2, Letter 2. 28 Left to Go

Dear Crush,

I've been trampled by the heavy want of you too many times. For now I am folding you in tissue paper, laying you in a box, and placing you under my bed. But not forever.

X

Day 1, Letter 1. 29 Left to Go

Dear B,

Cold sand between toes, passing a bottle of Two Buck Chuck, the sun lowering into the hills, only the sound of waves between us. Racing to the hills of Altadena, traversing dirt and shrubs in last night's heals, all to watch the sunrise below gray clouds. Carmel, Santa Cruz, Norfolk, Richmond, Washington D.C., One-traffic-light Town, Pennsylvania, Chicago, New York, the Brooklyn Bridge, Alaska, Vancouver, and back home again. Thanks for all the sunrises and sunsets and the places in between.

X

A Challenge - 30 Letters, 30 Days

Today, I was looking around this blog and found the "30 Letters, 30 Day" blog challenge. Even though I have had a blog for nearly a year, I know little about the blog community, and challenges, and until today, I didn't know such things existed. I don't know if I will ever do this again, or if I will complete the task, but it seems like a great explorative exercise. As a poet, I have seen people write poems in the form of letters, but have never done it myself. I figure, why not give it a whirl? And besides, I've been neglecting this blog, and looking for a reason to write, and well, here it is.

The challenge is 30 letters in 30 Days, and here are the recipients of the letters for each day:

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror


If you're down for the challenge, I also encourage you to give it a go.

Babies

Last night I swept my mother away from a home filled with four children under the age of four, and took to her to a movie. It's Mother's Day weekend, and I told her and my brothers, Grandma needs a break. What movie did we see? Babies. Five minutes in I realized the mistake I made. I took her from a house of cries and messes, to a movie of the same, accept we didn't know these kids. But after another five minutes we settled down to the idea that yes, we were watching babies be babies and actually enjoyed it. Or, at least I did, and I hope she did since, you know, she was the reason we went out.

Four babies in the first year of their lives in four different places in the world: San Francisco, Tokyo, Mongolia, and Namibia. Yes, we saw babies, but we also saw four extremely different cultures, and saw four different ideas about child rearing and family. I fell in love with happy little Bayar and his family's ranch and yurt in Mongolia. It was like a strange little place filled with anachronisms and contradictions. In one scene we saw the men race in a dust of smoke on their horses through a barren land, and in the next we heard a cell phone ring. We saw Bayar crawl on a dirt floor and have his bath water slurped up by a goat, and yet just outside a giant satellite stands guard, and the father rides a motorcycle. Yes, there is something charming about Mongolia, about their strong sense of tradition coupled with their use of modern technology. How does it all work together?

And then there is Namibia, a place where a baby receives a haircut with a knife, and a bath with a mothers tongue. I didn't even know places like Namibia still existed. The scenes of modern Tokyo made for a wonderful juxtaposition to the deserts of Namibia, and the wider angles of buildings, elevators, window views were probably some of my more favorite moments. The film maker's view of San Francisco, unfortunately, was disappointing and cliche, but all in all, I enjoyed this quiet view of life at the very beginning.

Damn product placement!

I love Modern Family, one the newest family comedies on ABC. Every since it first aired I have excitedly watched every episode, and quoted my favorite moments the next day to whoever will listen. These people make me laugh out loud. I can't decide who is my favorite. Is it the sensitive and fun loving Cam, who can also kick your ass in full clown costume and makeup, or is it Manny the preteen with an old soul? Actually, they are all hilarious. And my favorite part of each episode is the last scene when after all the hijinks and social missteps the family comes together and shows how much they really love each other, and then I ultimately always cry. Why? Perhaps because it reminds me of my own insane family, a crazy and strange mix of people that 90% of the time you want to kill, but 100% of the time I would kill for.

So imagine my disgust when my favorite part of the show, the last heartfelt scene, was turned into a shameless commercial for the ipad. The ipad of all things! That ridiculous gadget that only shows how greedy Apple really is. All I can think is that ol' Stevie boy knows his product is a bust, and is pulling at anything to save his ass. Well not my Modern Family, Stevie! Hands off! You took a beautiful moment of TV sentimentality and turned it into something dirty. You have soiled my happy place, and I do not forgive you.

Recovering Catholic, The Lenten Triggers

This past Wednesday was Ash Wednesday, the day that marks the beginning of Lent and forty days of fasting, reflection, and giving up sweets, or watching T.V., or cussing, or fighting with your brothers. Yes, Lent is the time Catholics decide to refrain from partaking in certain vices to get closer to God, and to show some kinship with Jesus who wandered in a desert for the same amount of time.

And though I am no longer Catholic, for many reasons from the pedophilia and perverse views of sex and love to the hypocrisy of the medieval and sexist infrastructure, for some reason this time of year makes me miss it a little.

Lent, unlike other Catholic holidays, illustrates the religions strongest sense of ritual and reflection. Most of the time Catholics can do whatever they want, when ever they want and get away with as long as they confess. But during Lent, those crazy Catholics show a severity that uncommon the rest of the year.

Examples:

Ash Wednesday: an outward symbols of faith that leaves them vulnerable to questions and even ridicule, as seen this year with the media and Biden.

No meat Fridays: This version of fasting results in specific Lenten menus, at least within my Mexican family, like Lentil soup, chile rellenos, shrimp cakes, and fruit water. This is the only time of year that a specific menu is called for.

Stations of the Cross: reenactments of Jesus' final journey, lots of kneeling and reciting, and just general serious praying.

Palm Sunday: includes religious paraphernalia and more reenactments.

Easter Vigil: 2 hour long mass, maybe longer, starting with people standing outside a church in the dark with candles, and includes baptisms, confirmations, and First Holy Communions. If you go to this mass, you are a serious Catholic.

I gave up Catholicism many many years ago. I'm probably close to 10 years sober, but this time of year with all its ritual and restraint really does something to my old Catholic guilt and suddenly I want to put down my big juicy burger and make a tuna sandwich. Just this once. Just for old times sake.

igag

Am I the only one who thinks the ipad looks like the oversized office supplies gag gift you might find at the dollar store? F-A-I-L!

The Checklist

Yesterday, on The Daily Show with John Stewart, his guest was Atul Gawande, surgeon and author of The Checklist Manifesto. This book details how a checklist is useful for many of us, specifically in hospitals. In the interview Gawande explains that though he has seen positive results from asking surgeons to perform a simple checklist before surgeries it is not mandatory, and many don't wish to do one. It may be ego, but there is no shame in the checklist game.

I am no surgeon, but I know I couldn't live my life with out the use of checklists. For five years I was the director of a Theatre program at a high school in Arcadia, and in that time I relied on lists to help me keep track of everything from directing, producing, designing the set, keeping track of the props and costumes, contacting parents, and so forth. Within theatre the checklist is part of the norm. There are lists that are checked before any performance that involves cast members, light cues, props, costumes, and so more. How else can you be sure a performance will run smoothly, without first checking that all the necessary elements are in place? It works wonders for a production, and I don't see how if theatre people can do for a performance, why doctors wouldn't do the same for saving a life. Right? I mean it's like, duh!

Though I learned the importance of the list from my theatre experience and discovered its invaluableness from my time as a solo lonely high school Theatre Arts department director, it now has spread over the rest of my life. I rarely do any major or minor daily production--family trips, house chores, writing projects, fellowship applications--without the all knowing list.

Why? If I don't have a check list everything piles up and the amount of work I have to accomplish feels insurmountable. I begin to worry that I will never get it done, and I quickly run to throw my head under the blankets and sleep it all away. BUT with a check list everything changes. Your work is in a manageable order and you can note your progress. Nothing feels as good as when you've checked something off the list. And there is never any last minute panic about forgetting something because your list tells you, you haven't.

The check-list: not just for theatre geeks and surgeons anymore.

Trends of 2009

Yeah, I know it's already the later part of January, but this has been working around in my brain since December and won't go away. At the end of every year everyone does their, Big in 09 lists, and so here is mine:

1. Free food: Sure, we've been in the worst financial recession in years, people are losing there homes and jobs, but all is not lost. All last year countless restaurants and fast food joints were giving food away for free. Free! Grand Slams, fried chicken, sandwiches, oh my!

Our pockets may have been empty, but our bellies were full!

2. Fro-yo: Does no one remember when Penguin's Yogurt craze of the eighties? No? Perhaps, I am the only one. But none of that matters because the entire country went wild for Yogurtland. Forget Pink Berry, that was so last year. This year was all about cheap yogurt in a multitude of colors and flavors topped with fresh fruit and Captain Crunch. Everyone was hopping on the bus to Yogurtland.

3. The year of the Taylors: Either together or separate, nothing could stop the madness surrounding Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner. They are young, attractive, and talented. What could be better? BUT I still have a problem ogling T.L.'s muscley bits...He's a minor, people!

Queen and King of 2009

4. Public displays of violence against women: This isn't funny, but suddenly it has become entertainment. First it was Rhianna's bruised face all over the internets, and Chris Brown's sad, lame apologies on youtube, then it was Douche of the Decade, Joe Francis, of Girls Gone Wild fame, taking down Jayde (reality actress/former girlfriend of Brody Jenner) by the hair inside a busy, security filmed, bar, and last, the infamous Jersey Shore slap heard around the world.

What's going on in the world? When did violence against women become entertainment?

5. 3D: I can't even count how many movies came out in 3D this year. It started with Coraline, and finished with Avatar, but many less deserving films have held the same moniker, making the world expect more and audiences pay more. Remember when 3D was special? Remember when we all grabbed at the little flying creature in Captain EO (Trend of 2010: The Return of Captain EO)? If it's not Michael, it may not need to be 3D.

And that is it. My take on the trends of 2009. Now, it's time for me to stop thinking about this, and enjoy the year I'm in.

Cheers to 2010, and all the craziness it will bring!